Whether you have a degree in any field of working with children or not, there are Montessori parenting habits you can practice with your kids daily. These habits help me be a good and present parent, best friend and support during difficult times.
And what is so special about each of these Montessori parenting habits I practice with my kid every day? Gentle, positive parenting. The basis for positive discipline arises a gentle relationship between parent and child full of love and understanding. The one who has such a childhood grows into a self-confident, independent, lovable person.
Related: How to get started with the Montessori method of parenting
1 Respect that little person.
Each and every day, without hesitation, I treat my son as my equal. Very often, parents forget that they are responsible for the life of that child until he becomes a contented adult. Ah, the key point is – that little person will eventually become an adult.
So, we respect the elders and those similar to us in age, and we even talk kindly to complete strangers as we try to explain to them how to get to the square. But then, when that little hand pulls ours because he has something to say, we silence him without realizing what he wants.
We think that’s how we teach him patience, and that’s somewhat true. However, if he asks for a word politely, why do we prevent him from joining the conversation? Why do we ruin his self-confidence by shutting him down? And then, when an unknown interlocutor leaves, our little smart guy tells us that he just wanted to help explain to the stranger where to go.
“Our words and deeds should never shame. Speaking to your child with kindness and respect, picturing the adult they will become, is most likely to elicit the best in them.” This is the excerpt from the “Montessori for every family”, the one parenting guide that covers it all.
2 Encourage independence while observing.
There are plenty of ways to encourage independence as a parent, whatever method of discipline you approve. Among Montessori parents, you can often hear the following: Stay away as much as you can. Give your child space for independent play as long as he enjoys it. Let him make lunch if he wants to. And, of course, allow your child to do their routines without your help if they can.
How? Fill the room with age-appropriate toys that encourage imagination. At the same time, observe in silence, at a safe distance, to find out the child’s current interests. Therefore, you will be able to prepare various activities accordingly.
His current obsessions are prehistory, the Titanic and scary things. He has mentioned several times that he would like to receive a Titanic lego toy for his birthday this year. Last year we ordered this Titanic 3D puzzle with LED lights, and it is still a hit! He plays with it almost every day, even though it is meant to be a room decoration!
Apart from playtime, Montessori-prove the house. Having a kitchen step stool can be a life-changer for including Montessori parenting habits. I didn’t have it, but I definitely involved my son in various activities in the kitchen by allowing him to sit on the work surface or stand on a chair.
Big wooden kids knife is pretty convenient. Your child will love having their utensils and will enjoy chopping a banana. And I couldn’t live without the bathroom step stool! Thank God my mom thought of this when my son was younger.
3 Limits, of course.
I hope you didn’t get the message from the previous chapter wrong. I didn’t say that your child has to do everything alone and that your help is harmful. By no means! But, whenever possible, you should allow your child to follow his tempo as much as it suits both of you. In this way, you will be able to observe, and from that, you will learn what his character is and what he likes.
About limits. So, you are the one who sets them, and the child is the one who follows them. Us Montessorians cling to “freedom within limits” strongly. We will now explain what this means and briefly summarize the previous chapter.
We allow the child to choose their activities concerning current interests. And the child adheres to strict rules regarding his security, which we set. Although we allow the child to choose learning materials, toys and games, we also set a routine.
When it’s dinner time, there’s no getting up from the table to play with toys. But choosing between 2-3 dinner choices is an option. When it is time for learning activities, the child chooses among the options offered, and we do homework without discussion after school.
We are not allowed to go outside the fence on the playground and not climb on the kitchen table. But we can try to climb a tree. There is no running in the library, but we can do that later in the field.
Everyone can do it.
If you have been thinking about changing your parenting style for a long time but don’t know where to start, I bring you good news. You can practice these three Montessori parenting habits starting today. So, you don’t need a fancy playroom or a million materials and bought hands-on activities. Montessori parenting is much more than that.
As you listen to your child, follow his interests and respect them, and with all that you allow him to become independent, you have already started. Your child will use your cleaning supplies just as well as your children’s. Instead of a subscription for materials, you can make them yourself!
