Since they’re considered a rare virus (20% of human population), shingles were completely new to me. I had zero knowledge about them and I freaked out. Not because of rashes and certainly not because of pain, I freaked out because I am a mom to a young kid with whom I like spending quality time. I was afraid I would be devastated to take good care of him and here’s what happened.

Before I knew I had a virus popping out…

I spent my whole childhood with allergies breakouts, so I wasn’t scared or confused. My dad taught me how to take control of my hands from scratching the spots so I don’t end up with scars. But virus zoster was not an allergy…

The morning the first signs of shingles (zoster) appeared, I felt a lot different. I felt itchy along the spine (left side) and I couldn’t control it. I asked my kid whether there was something strange there, he said “no”. Later that day, I asked my husband, he said: “only signs of scratching”. Those rashes were painful and annoying and lasted for two days.

On day three, that exact spot on the spine got covered by redness, looked a lot like allergies (but it also looked like eczema and psoriasis). There was even more itching and I had almost no control. The lower part of the stomach looked big and it worried us, so we went to the gynaecologist. By that time, we suspected it was herpes zoster.

Shingles (zoster) confirmed by a doctor.

Gynecological was all right, and the stomach was painful and was swollen because of the bacterial inflammation. The doctor confirmed the virus (shingles/zoster/herpes zoster) and gave complicated therapy (actually, the usual one, but it felt too much for me at that moment of time).

Herpes zoster is a viral infection caused by Varicella-zoster virus. It is the same virus that causes the formation of chickenpox. Once a person survives chickenpox (usually in childhood), the virus remains inactive in nerve cells and activates again when the immune system is weak or there’s a lot of stress in the body.

The first sign is itch on a certain part of the body, and for a few days, there is redness. Soon there are clustered blisters that last for two to three weeks. The most common feature is pain that is difficult to describe, numbness, burning and itching. Even after complete withdrawal of the blisters, pain and other symptoms may last up to two years (or more).

From day four to day ten, I was in a lot of pain down my spine, with a constant headache and with a fever at night. Blisters appeared and it was hard to fall asleep at night. I was desperate to look or touch myself, to get out of bed and to smile.

I felt guilty for letting my body into it because I was stressed and I missed the small things. Mostly, I missed a good laugh. The sincere laugh that wasn’t interrupted by pain and discomfort.

But I knew I have to find strength and carry on…

Because day six was Monday, my husband back to work. And I alone with a three-year-old!

How to act when you’re sick and contagious having shingles AND there’s a three-year-old around?

I always taught all is easy when parenting. Except for when the kid is sick. You know you have to stay calm and suffer inside, right?

But then, zoster caught me in its trap, due to being overstressed for work. I tried so hard not to show him how much I am in pain, even though he knew I was some kind of sick. I also tried to stay apart from both of my guys because herpes is contagious. The path was exhausting, so…

One day, I let my guard down and showed the blisters on my body to the little guy. We explained that I have to sleep in a different room for some time and why he shouldn’t touch my blisters.

That day, he told me to wait in the bedroom for him because he will bring toys to me. He brought a full basket of car toys and books. We played on the bed until it was snack time! He also draws my blisters all over the doors and took pictures of me. Apparently, I wasn’t at all ugly to him. Melted my heart!

How to take care of a young kid (alone) when having shingles?

I felt desperate, in some depression, in pain, sleepless, itchy, ugly and still, I survived zoster. I am still surviving zoster. At first, I taught it’s not good to let my guard down and tell everything to a kid that young. But I was wrong. As long as I don’t make him suffer, he has a right to know. Confessing it fully to him made a process a lot easier.

He wasn’t worried about me sleeping in another room and he wouldn’t try to touch the blisters. He did ask of me to show them several times, but laughed about them and didn’t worry. What surprised me was his gentle side and control of impulses. My three-year-old asked of me nothing but food and love (and a bit of playing). And he certainly learned a lot about good behaviour these days.

1 Calming the nerves down helped both of us.

Stressless body and a free mind seeking its way on how to relax: I embraced this state and certainly, life felt good. Not that I am a nervous person on the outside, but my insides were burning every time someone’s being rude to us. This virus taught me differently since it’s itchy every time I got upset. Every morning, he and I played calm: books, cars, talking, and him playing instruments.

2 I stayed active.

Well, not really. Whilst I couldn’t move without being in pain, I wouldn’t let the fresh spring Sun don’t see our faces. So I reserved the other part of the morning for having a snack outside, casually sitting in the garden and talking life. And I was still cooking and cleaning a bit. My grandma (almost 80), called me on Viber and said: You’re cleaning, good. She is one of those grandmas who never stopped running around the house, stayed fit and healthy. So I knew I was doing me good.

3 I let my husband REALLY help.

Playing with the little one, bathing him, feeding him, making sure he gets to bed on time… My husband did most of these on most days (basically, every time he was home), so they built quite a relationship. It’s not a secret his dad (a musician, among all the other stuff) is his biggest role model. I enjoyed watching them bond deeply, learning life from one another.

Lessons learned!

You never fully appreciate life until its gorgeousness got took away from you somehow. The path I am walking through, the itchy and annoyingly painful path, is shockingly waking me up! I am constantly missing the comfort inside my body, kisses, our bedroom, tickling and all of us spending time together. Resting the whole day got me bored, but I’m still staying helpful to myself, appreciating every resting moment because it will help my body get better. While I was always running around doing something (even when my guys both fall asleep), I am now opening another door.