I get you, you’ve lost your temper and you’re in a terrible mom guilt phase. Surrounded by your words and actions from inside out.

It’s not a big deal to lose a fight over the kids, but it’s huge to lose it against yourself. It leads to nowhere but the mommy meltdowns. But hey, we’ve all been there!

Although mom guilt is a common thing, it has the most monstrous way of shaping the scariest reality. Especially when you have too much on your shoulders and you do something that you later regret.

Something you gave promise you won’t ever let yourself do, like yelling at your kids, ignoring them for too long, or similar. That’s when you fail to lead your own battle.

As moms, we know how praising the kids and acting like they won many times, is great for raising their self-esteem. There’s nothing great, however, when you lose it over yourself.

Since feeling guilty is not much fun, we need to seek for methods to make it happen as minimal possible. One of the easiest ways to do that is by thinking gentle of ourselves and realising the problem.

Related: Five ways to invest in yourself as a stay-at-home mom

Here are some great steps that I would suggest.

1 It’s not your enemy.

Simply realise that mom guilt is not here to kill your vibe purposely. It’s here to remind you of your natural mom instinct to be better in parenting each day.

So, you don’t beat the mom guilt by forgetting about it. Mom guilt is for moms as long as they are responsible enough to care about the future, health and emotions. You beat the mom guilt by learning how to live with that!

2. The big-small list.

To live with what many moms see as one of the scary under bed monsters from motherhood area of life, you should know where’s the line.

I’d suggest you take a paper now and write down all the situations you remember feeling guilty about the choices you made that concern your children. Then cross off every situation in which you think you shouldn’t let the guilt guide you.

Some of those situations gotta be: 1 you let someone take care of your kids so you could rest/work 2 your kid ate cake for breakfast because you were too tired/sick to cook 3 you decided not to buy treats even though grandma did etc.

The situations that you cannot fully control and those when you need time for yourself or a motherhood pause should never welcome the mom guilt!

3 Learn and forgive.

But then, you made the big mistake and you want to cry yourself out?! Again, it’s ok. We’re all different. Some moms can control their impulses a lot better and some, not so much.

While I’m not thinking positive of any disrespectful discipline methods (like, I yelled at my kid 3 times for 4 years of parenting), I totally get some parents for losing it sometimes.

But it’s a past that you yelled at your kids, used force or embarrassed them in front of the crowd, so let it rest there and move on. Improve your future moves by learning through past times and forgive yourself the bad moves. Focus on the better tomorrow.

4 Self-care.

It all sounds nice, doesn’t it? Accept the mom guilt, learn to live with it, don’t look back at your bad decisions but strive for progress, improve your life to not feel guilty all the time. But hooooow?!!

Related: Self-care Sunday for moms

You do it by eliminating the guilt (of course, like I said, you cannot fully eliminate it, but minimise). Meaning, not taking actions that will lead you there. Self-care is crucial for moms.

At the end of the day, if I haven’t self-cared enough and if I haven’t finished my tasks, all nervous and tired, I’m dangerous. And what comes after being nervous in front of the kid? Mom guilt, of course.

Self-care has by far been the most successful method for minimising the meltdowns. It’s not a secret that everyone feels better when looking better. I honestly don’t feel at my highest energy level when my nails are in such mess.

Don’t go minimal on your hobbies either. You deserve it all, as long as it doesn’t get between your kid and you.

5 Hold tight on to your WHY!

You must have settled down your reasons why you chose a positive discipline path.

Here’s mine. Simply, I want to raise a happy human. The one that doesn’t get afraid to investigate through choices, hobbies and emotions.

The one that feels ok with just going for it, for the dream job, for making his hobby his job, for being himself. Or really, for asking a girl out.

Name your why and strongly hold onto it! Remind yourself every time you’re about to lose it and you’ll be fine! Don’t let anyone judge a single choice, a single doubt or a single mistake of yours.

You’ll have your judges sooner or later (your kids), so do your best!

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